Dilly all the way the series
by SaWa-San
Summary: First chapter is a contest for the best villain there ever was. Rated high, because of verbal language.EENJOOOYYYY


Dilly all the way!! (the series)  
  
I always loved it to read something funny about Dilly, so I decided to make an own "story". ENJOY!!!!!  
  
Episode 1: Contest for the best villain there ever was!  
  
Welcome to the first episode of "Dilly all the way!" This time we are going to hold a contest for "The Best Villain there ever was"! I, SabineballZ (Sabi), am one of the jurymembers, who will pick the winner. The other members are as follwos: Gandalf and Frodo from Lord of the Rings, Van and Hitomi from Escaflowne, God, My math-teacher (m.m.t.) and Deedlit from Record of Lodoss War (Parn's sick, so he didn't make it).  
  
And here are the nominated ones for the title of "The Best Villain there ever was": + The stepmother of Cinderella (s.o.C.) + The evil queen from Snowwhite (e.q.) + The Devil (Dee) + Sauron and Saruman (S.S.) from Lord of the Rings + My german-teacher (m.g.t.) + Adolf Hitler (Adi) + Cruella Devil (C.D.) from 101 Dalmation + Ashram and Pirotess (A.P.) from Record of Lodoss War + Dornkirk (Didi) from Escaflowne + Dillandau Albatou (Dilly) from Escaflowne  
  
There are 9 rounds in this contest and after each, one of the remaining contestants will be thrown out by the jury. The one, who remains after the last round is the winner. Now let us start!!  
  
Round 1: Best singing act  
  
S.S.: May it be an evening star, shines down upon you.... May it be... (song from Enya; Lord of the Rings Soundtrack)  
  
Frodo: I didn't know they could sing that good. Gandalf: Sauron always had an enchanting voice... m.m.t.: Thanks, that was very good. Next!  
  
e.q.: I'm in heaven, when you kiss me, Heaven when you kiss me, Show me, how you miss me.... (song from ATC)  
  
Van: Sounds good, but could be better.... m.m.t: I think it'll be good enough... Next!  
  
C.D.: My heart will go oooonnn.... (song from Celine Dejoun; Titanic Soundtrack)  
  
God: Good, good.... Next!  
  
s.o.C.: Lalalalalalala.... It goes around the world.... Lalalalalalala... It's all around the world... (song from ATC) *song totaly wrong!!!*  
  
Hitomi: My poor ears... Other jurymembers: -_-° Sabi: I don't think we need to hear the rest anymore ... *mumbles* sceechie...  
  
Round 2: Cooking  
  
m.g.t.: I made Pizza!  
  
God: mmmmm...jummy, that's delicious... Frodo: Can I have the recipe? Sabi: Let's go on befor you all stuff yourself full with that delicious  
  
Pizza.  
  
e.q.: Want some baked cinamon apples? They are not piosioned.  
  
Gandalf *takes a bite*: Not bad..*falls directly asleap*  
  
e.q.: OOPS!! Sorry. There must have somehow gotten sleeping-potion  
  
in it....  
  
Deedlit: Don't worry, That can happen anyone. Dilly, you are next!!  
  
Dilly: I got roast beef with noodles.  
  
Van and Hitomi: WOW! That's good!! m.m.t.: Didn't think, he could do such a thing... Sabi: That's my Dilly. Now to Dee.  
  
Dee: Just one sec... *pott on the stove explodes. Red liquid splashes all around the room* OH NO! My blood soup with extra jucy eyeballs!!!!  
  
Jury *all with greenish faces*: X_X God: I knew that couldn't go well.....  
  
Round 3: Skiing  
  
*Jury watches as the contestants sipp around the diffrent ski runs and the ski jump*  
  
Sabi: Dilly is really enjoying himself.  
  
Dilly *jumps of ski jump, lands perfektly and on his second way down a run "accidentaly" bumps into Dornkirk* : WHOOPS! SORRY! THIS IF FUN!!!!  
  
Didi: Why you fucking Dragonslayer!! When I get you, you'll not only have a scar on your right checke!!!!  
  
Jurymembers: No comment.... Deedlit: Just let him, it'll be okay. Look at Ashram and Pirotess in the Slalom, they're doing quite well.  
  
* Just at that moment, Ashram, in front, trips, gains his balance again and Pirotess nearly bumps right into him*  
  
Ashram: Shit! Why is skiing so fucking hard??!!?? Pirotess: Hey! You're not the only one , who has problems!! If this takes any longer, my ears will fall of!! So can you please move on???  
  
Deedlit: ^^° As I said, there doing quite well. *Suddenly, something sipps past; something with much fur on it* What was that?? Hitomi: That was Cruella Devil. You know she's a "fur-maniac"...  
  
*Shouts and curses are heared from somewhere... Jury turns in the direction of the very unrued curses, which I will not put in here*  
  
Saruman: FUCK!! I knew skiing with a fucking eyeball covered with fire wasn't a good idea!!!!  
  
Frodo: I think, we found our men, who get thrown out this time.... *The rest of the Jurymembers nod in agreement*  
  
Round 4: Best speach (to the followers)  
  
Adi: And I say, we will win! Do not give up, for victory is at hand! We will drive those scumc out of here and stand above all!!  
  
Gandalf: He's good. Sabi: But it's the only thing he can really do good as far as I know. He Never fought himself, just like Saruman. *Gandalf and Frodo nod* m.m.t.: It's better that way. Next!  
  
Dilly *punches Adi in the nose and pushes him aside*: Okay now, listen to me and listen good! You'll go out there and you'll gonna kick some fucking assholes putts!! There must be no loses on our side or one of you must pay for it!!!!  
  
Jury: OoO / -_-° / *g* / X_X / ^^° Sabi: Good speach. Maybe a bit to harsh, but good. m.m.t.: Very drilled. Next!  
  
*Jury hears speaches from Ashram and Pirotess, Didi and my german-teacher (she's really good at it!!!), then comes Cruella Devil*  
  
C.D.: You worthless assholes!! You never do, what I tell you to do! I already do the laundry and the dusting and you still won't budge!?! I HATE YOU!!! *breaks down in sobs*  
  
Deedlit: N comment.... Frodo: I would have expected much more.. Hitomi: Even I could do that better... Van: didn't know, she was such a softy... God: Get he outta here and let us continue with the contest.  
  
Round 5: Best weapon arsenal  
  
Gandalf: What have ya got??  
  
Dilly: Guymelef, sword, Flamethrower.  
  
Sabi: Sounds very good. Your definatly in the next round. And you?  
  
Didi: Fate-Alteration-Machine. Shall I show you, how it works??  
  
Jury: NOOOOOOOO!!!! YOUR IN!!!  
  
Didi: Awwww, crab...  
  
Adi: Missiles, bombs, about 1,000 000 shotguns, a private pistol.....  
  
Hitomi: Okay, okay. We get the point. You pass. Next!  
  
Ashram and Pirotess: Swords, horses, super hard armor and bow and arrow  
  
God: Good, good. Next!  
  
m.g.t.: Wooden stick, finger nails, black belt (that's maid up!!!), school-register and a herd of crazy pupils.  
  
Jury: ?????????? m.m.t.: Okie, dokie..... Evil queen, you're last. What ya got??  
  
e.q.: A poisioned apple.  
  
Deedlit: ...And??  
  
e.q.: Nothing more. My storage room burned down last week.  
  
Gandalf: Then you're out! Of to the next round!!! Rest: YEAHHH!!!  
  
Round 6: Good Looks  
  
*all contestants stand in one row and are looked over*  
  
Sabi: Well, Dilly looks really hot *gets stares from the others *. But Hitler.... Van: Ashram and Pirotess are okay. Hitomi: I agree, but who'll get thrown out now?? Didi or Hitler? Deedlit: Maybe Hitler has his own good looks, but we must consider, that Dornkirk is 200 years older than the rest. m.m.t.: But because of that, he's definatly going to fail in the next round... Gandalf: Let's throw Dornkirk out! Rest: OKAY!! Frodo: Hey Didi! You're out!!  
  
Didi: At least I made it this far, now I can die in peace...  
  
Jury:????? Sabi: ^^° If you say so...  
  
Round 7 : Swords-fighting Skills  
  
Frodo: Okay everyone draw a ring (get it..draw a ring *g*) The two golden rings go first and the silver ones go second! It's only to see, how good you all are at handling a sword! Deedlit: Oh, and Pirotess, you'll have to stand aside, because it would be Unfair, two against one.  
  
Pirotess: Why me? Can't Ashram be left out? Never heared of "Ladies first"??  
  
God: Yeah. Ladies stand aside first, that is....  
  
Pirotess: But... Dilly: Can we get on with the contest??!!  
  
Sabi: Dilly's right. Now stand aside or you'll be disqualified!!  
  
*Pirotess gets out of the way and throws death glares at the Jury*  
  
Hitomi: If you want to, you can draw the ring and keep it afterwards.  
  
Pirotess: That's good enough...  
  
*Dilly and Hitler draw the golden ones, my german-teacher and Pirotess the silver ones*  
  
Gandalf: Okay, Dilly and Hitler go first! Ready??!! FIGHT!!!  
  
*Adi charges at Dilly in a way, that you can not describe as a swords-fight- technique and shouts at the same time "Schweinehund!!!" Dilly just raises his sword with one hand to point directly forward at Hitler and Adi runs straight into it. He coughs out blood falls with a loud thud on the floor*  
  
Jury:................... Van *feeling Hitlers puls*: He's dead as stone. Gandalf and Sabi: That turned out quite well... m.m.t.: No comment.... Hitomi: I think, we should burn the dead body and get on with it. Frodo: Sounds good to me. NEXT ROUND!!!  
  
Round 8: Most maniac laughter  
  
Dilly *goes first*: Mwhahahahahahahahaahhahahahaha!!! Moreo! Moreo!! Mwhahahahahahahaha!!!!!....  
  
Sabi: That always sends chills down my spine. Van and Hitomi: I hate that laughter. Frodo: But he's really good at it. m.m.t.: You got a point there... Next!  
  
m.g.t.: HEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Kill all!! Let them all write spelling tests!!!! Mwhahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
*Jury just sits there, frozen stiff with fear*  
  
God *getting his voice back first* :V-ve-ve-very g-g-g-g-oo-oo-good. N-no-now o-o-oml- omly Ashr-r-ram a-a- nd P-p-piro-t-t-ess.  
  
Ashram and Pirotess: Mehahahaha! KILL!! Mehahahaha! *Ashram has to cough ans loses his voice even more, then he had bevor. Pirotess keeps on screeching*  
  
Gandalf: We have chosen our "you get thrown out" contestants! Ashram and  
  
Pirotess. Sorry, but someone has to be it.  
  
Deedlit: Maybe next time...  
  
Last round: Duell with weapon of choice  
  
Sabi: You two may chose a weapon you like. Then you stand in this cicle *points at red cicle* and the first, who gets knocked out of the ring or unconciousnous or falls down dead, loses. m.m.t.: READY??? FIGHT!!!!!  
  
*My german-teacher grabs her wooden stick and attacks Dilly. He dodges the attacks for a while easely. Then Dilly takes out his flamethrower and just frys her*  
  
Dilly: MOREO! MOREO!!!!  
  
Van: I knew, he would do that.... Hitomi: That's Dilly alright. Frodo: Typical. Gandalf: Seriously damaged his brain with that fate alterageon.... Sabi *dreamely* : Just gotta love him..  
  
The Winner is Dilandau Albatou!!!!  
  
*Claps and whistles are heared from none existing crowd...*  
  
Until next time in "Dilly all the way!"  
  
BYE!!!!  
  
  
  
Did ya like it?? I do hope so... Please review!!!! 


End file.
